As we approach the holidays, I was thinking about the struggle being real at times of feeling that some of my friends seem to have it all together and that I am still trying to find my way.
I have one friend... the one who seems like she has it all together. For me, it’s a friend I’ve had since forever. She was the first of us to graduate college (early, of course), the first to get married, the first to start her career, the first to have babies. You get the idea.
She’s amazing. There isn’t anything she can’t do. She works full time, takes care of her family, and still manages to look amazing and give back to her community. She’s the type of person I would hate, except that she is so darn nice and genuine you can’t help but fall in love with her.
For a long time, I held her up as the perfect way to adult. I modeled much of my own life after hers. Especially around the holidays. I wanted so much to be her. The decorating, the baking, the donations, the friends to invite, the giving of so much I secretly wanted to be her so much that I felt that I was living the impossible during the holidays. But if I’m being totally honest... I’ve also always felt like that level of perfection was unattainable for a mere mortal like myself. I always, and often, fell short. Because it is unattainable. There’s just no way I can do all the things.
And then one day, I realized that she doesn’t do all the things, either. I was visiting her, and we took her car somewhere. But before we got in, she turned to me and said: “I have to confess something - my car is super, super messy.”
She wasn't kidding - it was gloriously messy. It looked like her kids had been living in it for at least a week. It wasn’t gross or dirty - it was just messy. There were books everywhere, papers all over, random bags of donations she needed to take in, and at least one pair of mismatched shoes.
It was awesome.
And it made me realize that no matter how perfect someone appears, we all have that one thing. For my friend who seemed to have it all together, it was her car. And the fact that she knew it made it even more awesome. And made me love her a tiny bit more.
It really helped put things in perspective for me. And now, I no longer want to be her - because I’m too busy being myself. And when she let me into that messy side of her world, it showed me that no one, no matter how together they seem to have it, is perfect. Everyone has their thing.
I brought this up to her recently, and we laughed together. I haven’t seen her in a while, but she told me her car is still super messy. And then she told me that she had looked up to me for a long time, too. She saw in me the things that she felt she was missing. Which completely blew me away. But it also is such a good reminder that when you compare your behind-the- scenes to someone else’s highlights reel, you never win. And neither do they. Because no one has it all together, and we’re killing ourselves trying to keep up with each other.
As of today the Farmhouse is stocked with our Winter Scents. Please check them out. Also, stay tuned for a very special offer coming up for Shop Small Saturday.
With Love, Leah